Pushing myself to the limits in a quest to feel ALIVE!
Life has been altered in so many ways. My health placing limitations and additional struggles upon me.
I set forth each day, trying to respect my physical health needs, while also not giving up my emotional and mental ones.
Medicines are changing; me realizing all too well the possibility of feeling worst in order to hopefully find some form of relief in the long term.
Why is it so difficult for others to understand, and easy for them to judge, when they don't realize the circumstances that I live in?
When I attempt to stare down and defeat my fears of just existing, such as reaching out for additional support, why is it my personal goals are used against me, as an opportunity to knock me down, discourage, or add additional fears?
Aren't I worthy enough to rediscover feeling meaningful, valuable, and happiness, in spite of the despair I experience daily as a result of consistent chronic illness?
Am I expected to completely disregard who I am, who I want to be, and just watch each day pass by as I constantly feel nauseated, fatigued, and often in pain?
Is being unable to live a "normal" life as an adult contributing to society, also suppose to limit or prevent me from reaching for spiritual growth and social connections?
I know it will take great effort!
I'm sure my body will revolt.
I know there will be times that I have to decline or back out.
But if the task, no matter how small or short term, is rewarding in the moment, wouldn't it still be worthwhile in helping me regain a sense of me?