This time next week I will be physically preparing for my colectomy with ileostomy surgery. As a result of severe colonic inertia, my entire colon will be removed. The end of my small intestines will be pulled to the outer part of my abdomen to create a stoma which will be covered by an ileostomy bag.
Currently, I am trying my best to prepare mentally for this surgery. If you had asked me a few weeks ago about how I felt about this upcoming surgery, I would have replied that I was very excited and ready, with no reservations or worries. I felt so brave! Though I still feel confident that this surgery is necessary and that it has the possibility of improving my quality of life while decreasing some of my troublesome symptoms, I am becoming extremely nervous. As the surgery date draws nearer and nearer, I am becoming more and more anxious and even scared. I do not fear or even second guess the choice that my medical team and I made, but instead fear the reality of what life will be like afterwards. If there's any improvement at all, no matter how small, the surgery will be worthwhile. I am well aware that it will not be a "cure all". I will still have other issues that aren't completely resolved within my digestive system, will most likely still need my feeding tube to aide in nutrition, and still have some symptoms. BUT, less symptoms or less severe symptoms would be a very welcome change! Not to mention, the relief of no more colonic issues! What a sigh of relief that will be! It's just difficult to prepare for something you've never truly experienced. How painful and how long will the recovery period be? How well will my body, mind, and family accept the "new" me and my lifestyle changes? I have faith that God and my loved ones will help me survive this upcoming battle, but it's still scary. While trying to remain realistic, I can't help but hold on to high hopes. I just pray that I don't set myself up for heartbreak or disappointment in the process. As my new journey begins, I will try to remain positive. I am envisioning a majestic rainbow following a severe thunderstorm. It may be a rough ride for a while, but something beautiful and calming will appear when it's all said and done.
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Trisha, while I did not have the bag part of your journey, I walked this part of your path. I have never regretted the surgery because it gave me a better quality of life than before. You are going into this with very realistic expectations and extremely well-informed! I know you lean on your faith and God. It is what I did too Trisha. I literally gave it to Him. And didn't take it back. So I could have my peace! Then I went into Victoria Secrets and bought the softest feeling pair of lounging pants I could find! Cause I knew I would be "lounging" for a bit and my tummy/mid-section would be sore. Plus I deserved them! I will be praying for you and your family! I love you my dear GP sister!
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10/20/2020 11:15:56 am
As you are probably living with an ostomy, you might figured out the way to live a healthy and active life. I wish you good luck
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Trisha BundyA proud mother, educator, Gastroparesis & GI Motility Disorder Advocate, Like my content? Want to thank me with a small token of appreciation? https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LH7R639ORBML?ref_=wl_share
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