Dear Kids, After hearing about the recent deaths in the Gastroparesis community, I wanted to take a moment today to let you know how much I truly love you! You are my absolute most remarkable blessings from God here on Earth. The only blessing greater, is that life will continue in Heaven with Him after we pass. Which means, no matter what happens, as long as you have God in your Heart and accept him as your Savior, we will all be reunited again after death. We never know when God will call us home, we must always be prepared. I need to know that you know how much you mean to me. As I think about each of you, my heart is filled with love and compassion. All 3 of you are amazing kids that are developing into amazing young adults right before my eyes. It truly seems like just yesterday, when I was carrying you on my hip or shoulders, holding your hand during a stroll, and holding you in my arms as you slept. I don't know where the time went, it passed so fast, but I treasure all of our memories together. Now, as you are, I value our time together. I apologize for not being as active as I once was. Please don't think for a second that I skip out on activities because I don't want to be with you. That is far from the truth. I hope you recognize that I choose carefully what to do or not do, so that I have more time with you in the long run and so that I don't spoil your fun. Even if I miss out on exciting adventures, hearing them from you make me so happy. The smiles on each of your faces, the sound of your laughter, the sparkle in your eyes, and the love behind your hugs and "I Love You's" are what keep me going each and every day. I admit I currently spend a lot of time on the computer. Once again, it's not to avoid you. (In fact, I try to use the computer when your playing video games, swimming, visiting PaPa or Poochie, or just watching TV). My time on the computer is spent trying to assist others, as well as myself, find better health. I'm busy in support groups assisting others, including me, stay positive and strong while waiting on better treatment options to be created. On Twitter, I'm making friends and connections around the world in hopes of making others aware of Gastroparesis so maybe a cure or better treatment can be found sooner. Additionally, being on the computer helps me find myself, which is sometimes lost while battling my symptoms, as well as keeping me up to date about what new treatments arise and their effectiveness. The friendships formed online offer me an opportunity to reach out for support, talk about my downfalls, discuss Gastroparesis and it's impact on our life. They provide me a chance to emotionally be open and honest about life, so that I don't burden you with my innermost thoughts and concerns. The computer helps me hold onto hope that one day I'll feel better so I can LIVE life, once again, by your side. You guys may not realize it, but you are my driving force. You are the rocks that keep me grounded and the reason I will NOT and can NOT give up!! I know sometimes that you are sad or scared, especially when I am feeling my worst or when ER visits are necessary. And that's okay. To be perfectly honest, I am also scared about the uncertainty of this disease and where it will lead me. I try my best to hide that part of me. I try my best to hide how horrible I feel, as seeing the hurt and helplessness in your eyes is heartbreaking. I know and understand how bad you want me to feel better. The special hugs, the snuggles, the text messages, our conversations, your love, all truly do help me! Words can't express just how important and special you are to me. We WILL get through this. I promise that I will continue to fight as hard as I can, regardless of what lies ahead of me. I will faithfully follow God's path and purpose, knowing that you are here by my side keeping me focused on what's most important. You may hear people say that I am a strong, courageous, and brave fighter and advocate. Yes, I fight hard. I fight with all my might. But I am only strong enough and brave enough because of the three of you and God. You mean the world to me. I don't know where I would be without you and pray that I'll never find out. Your love, your smiles, and your future are what encourage me to keep striving for answers, research, awareness, and better health. You 3 are my everything. I love you so very very much! I apologize for not being the mom you always wanted. I'm sorry for missing out on some of the vacations and events that you wanted me at. But please know that I was and will always be with you in spirit. I do the absolute best that I physically can. I try to be the best mom that I can and need to be. I'm not always perfect and I will make mistakes, but I'm ALWAYS here for you. I pray that you realize that. This has not been and likely will not be an easy journey, but remember how blessed we are. We have each other! You 3 are my greatest accomplishments and blessings! You make me extremely proud! I am and will forever be your greatest, number 1 fan! Love you always and always. Mom
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Trisha BundyA proud mother, educator, Gastroparesis & GI Motility Disorder Advocate, Like my content? Want to thank me with a small token of appreciation? https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LH7R639ORBML?ref_=wl_share
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