Life's journey. I can not deny that many hours are spent reflecting upon my journey through life thus far as well as considering what it could and even should be today and even in to tomorrow. It would be easy to say that I wish my health has not been a key factor in the past few years, but saying that would not be entirely true or accurate, as my health has helped me embrace a deeper appreciation for life and relationships while also helping me become more in tune with my body and inner soul. The health aspect of my journey has been difficult. One that I would not wish on anyone else. One that I would have probably given my life to avoid. But, it has molded me into who I am today. Yes, there have been days that I've wanted to give up. There have honestly been days when I wanted to travel the easiest route possible, the path of avoidance and denial. There have been troubled times, many more recently than I'd like to admit, that I let my fears and symptoms have control and literally hijack my emotions, leading me down a dangerous route, left to wander in pity, guilt, and anger. I recognize, when my vision is clear, that being held hostage by fear will eventually drive me over the cliff. I would be left unprotected in a deep canyon, weak and exhausted, silenced, and barely breathing. Instead of living, I would be left with simply trying to survive. Full of dread, withdrawn, and isolated from society and most importantly loved ones. This path would most likely either create a passive, no action, allowance of struggles that seem endless or constant morale bashing as I unsuccessfully try to claw my way out of a rocky wall of defeat. I know that this alternative, this dead end, is not the path I want to journey. Somehow, I have to be strong enough not to let the doubts and fears in my heart and mind hijack my self-worth and send me in the direction of complete destruction and despair. Another direction, would be the extreme opposite. Depending on others too often, giving them complete control over my life experience. Metaphorically, letting them attach me to a bungee cord, and be at their mercy. In their hands, I would also be hostage. Of no action of my own, I would be sent free falling, whipped around, dangling, and left in low agony until they decided it was time to slowly hoist me up just to be knocked down over and over again. A continuous cycle that would leave my head spinning, taking away the value of my life, leaving me no time to enjoy or witness the beauty that can be found around me. This course of action would eventually lead me down the path of no longer being respected or taken seriously. I would lose the capability of fighting for what I wanted in life and it would become impossible for me to hold on to the connection with those I care so deeply about. So while "Bungee Jumping" can be a fulfilling and necessary path to take occasionally, it is not my ideal choice of direction. I need to feel as if I still have some control over my life. That being said, what would my ideal journey be like? I see my ideal journey as being a meaningful crusade through life. With excursions and adventures surrounded by purpose and beauty. The road would undoubtedly have twist and turns. There would be enjoyable smooth roads, lots of laughs, and even an opportunity to observe small glimpses of Heaven on Earth. Realistically I know that there would have to be small speed bumps and storms along the way. How else would I be able to learn life's lessons and appreciate the rainbows of life? While navigating this path, I would stand up strong and face my fears, giving no one else complete power over my emotions and choices. Tears would flow, some of them from joy and happiness. Along this journey, I would strive to make a difference in the lives of others, be the "authentic" version of me, and prepared to meet each upcoming day with a positive attitude. I would be content, at peace, and ALIVE with many exciting and treasured memories. So how do I get there? How can I regain and maintain the ability to effectively choose the best course of action, the most suitable direction of life? How can I protect myself from being held hostage and stuck riding blindly down a path that I truly don't want to follow? I would like to say that it's as easy as grabbing the steering wheel, silencing and kicking the negative and discouraging thoughts and voices out of the vehicle, and continuing forward without them. Unfortunately, life doesn't work quite that simply, does it?
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Trisha BundyA proud mother, educator, Gastroparesis & GI Motility Disorder Advocate, Like my content? Want to thank me with a small token of appreciation? https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LH7R639ORBML?ref_=wl_share
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