I have always listened to music. As a teenager, I always had the newest tapes - yes tapes, until CDs rolled around. I didn't really have a specific genre, just listened to all types of songs. During college and my adult years, I found that I listened to whatever my husband played. I never really cared what was playing. I enjoyed a little of everything. When by myself or in my car, country music was usually playing in the background.
Things have changed since my diagnosis. This past Christmas my husband gave me some earbuds as a gift. I told him thank you, but in my mind I was asking why? Why would he choose to give me ear buds when I don't even listen to music unless I'm in the car or he's grilling out. I don't know if he's realized the magnitude of the gift of music or not. This one small gift, earbuds, has helped me during some of my darkest most difficult times. My phone is loaded with songs, some country, a couple R&B, but mostly contemporary Christian. Whenever I am in physical pain or feeling emotionally down, my favorite relaxing playlist is roaring in my ears. Music has changed me. Music inspires me. Music comforts me. Music keeps me moving forward. I have found many various songs and artists that I enjoy and even depend on. I have shared a few below, all which can be heard by clicking on the song's name. Hopefully, you will enjoy them as well. Inspires me This is My Fight Song by Rachel Platten I just ran across Rachel Platten's song this past week, thank you Twitter, and it has already become one of my favorites. The chorus is the part that really catches me, which I have shared below. (Click the song title to hear the song.) There are so many days that I just feel like I have nothing left inside of me to fight with. Gastroparesis takes a really tough toll on my body, between nausea, pain, fatigue, and dehydration. Sometimes activities as easy as getting dressed can use up all of my spoons. But this is NOT the life that I intend to live. I will keep fighting, not only for my family and me, but for all that suffer from Gastroparesis or depend on feeding tubes. This is OUR life, and it's time to TAKE OUR LIFE back. I'm going to successfully get mine back by keeping my hope alive, which I admit is really difficult at times and by continuing with my advocacy efforts. Move by Mercy Me Mercy Me has been a song that I have relied on for the past few months. The lyrics really hit home with me and provide me with a positive message that keeps me going. There are many days that I am so worn and defeated. Sometimes, I feel like giving up on myself, on my doctors, or even advocating. Giving up would be the easiest thing to do, just not the logical choice. But I can't give up! I won't give up! I know that GOD has brighter days ahead of me. I just have to follow his path. I know that my family, especially my kids need me and I owe it to them as their mother to keep fighting. I realize that there are so many others struggling with Gastroparesis, some much worse than me, and unfortunately many without the support that I have. I can't let them down. I have to keep moving! Things are going to go wrong sometimes, I get that. I will feel lost sometimes, I get that. Yes, my struggles and battles will feel heavy at times. BUT, I WILL keep moving. May be slower, may be different, but I will keep moving because everything's going to change. God has brighter days ahead. Comforts me Strong Enough by Matthew West Recently, music has not been just for enjoyment purposes. I never truly grasped how amazing listening to music, especially music about God's presence and love can be, until this past January when I was at my lowest. Now, when I am in distress pain and other awful symptoms, I turn to music for comfort. Sometimes it works better than others, but I always gain at least a little comfort. I have a numerous songs on my Calming Playlist. I listen to my playlist daily, sometimes all day, just to feel God's love and arm around me. I attempt to be strong, day in and day out, especially for my children. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I'm not strong enough. And though it's difficult to accept, it's alright. I have learned that I don't have to be strong enough all of the time. God is here, by my side, to give me strength. If I am giving up, by allowing God to take control and be strong enough to help me, that's alright. I just can't give up all alone. Mind Singer Carry Me Now by Josh Wilson Have you ever had a song, that sounds like the lyrics were written about you, from your own personal thoughts and feelings. The next song, by Josh Wilson, is like that for me. Chronic illnesses are awful. Knowing that no cure is available and things may never improve, can be extremely heart breaking. Gastroparesis has led me down many emotional paths, while trying to treat the symptoms. Every time I hear "Carry Me", I lose myself in the lyrics of the song. There are days that I can control or better yet, handle my symptoms with medication and my heating pad. But there are too many days that I have to endure horrible abdominal pain that breaks me, nausea to the point of heaving or vomiting, fatigue that keeps me grounded, bloating to the point of exploding, all which make receiving formula (nutrition) impossible. These days make me so weak physically and emotionally. There are times when I have to miss out on things I love and enjoy, most involving my kids. Additionally, sitting by the sidelines watching the school year slip by without me in the classroom has been tough as well. Through it all, I have tried to stay as positive and strong as possible. I have asked, pray, and even pleaded with God to carry me. I have depended on him carrying me when I'm exhausted, sad, scared, hurting, tearful, and even losing my patience. Music has had a positive impact on my life, especially in the past 6 months. I have a new appreciation for music, found many songs that I was unfamiliar with it, and new artists to follow. I still enjoy listening to a variety of music styles and am always searching for new songs to add to my playlist. Maybe one of your favorites. I welcome you to share some of your favorite songs and their role or impact in your life.
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Trisha BundyA proud mother, educator, Gastroparesis & GI Motility Disorder Advocate, Like my content? Want to thank me with a small token of appreciation? https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LH7R639ORBML?ref_=wl_share
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