Realizing this confirms just how important it is for me to make each day count for something. My goal is to feel as if I am living, not just existing or wasting space, so when it's all said and done I'm not full of regrets. This is easy to say, harder to do, especially when attempts to "live" can cause immense fatigue or drastically increase my symptoms. Achieving an acceptable level of balance that respects all areas of my health (physical, emotional, and mental) while also limiting frustration, minimizing undesirable consequences, and reducing regrets is undoubtedly extremely challenging and even troublesome at times.
So what can I do?
How can I encourage myself to redefine my life with illness without sacrificing too much of me?
Below are my current plans of action...
Foster or participate in positive moments to reflect on with the kids
Maintain memories by regularly writing in personal journal
Work on completing the ALL ABOUT ME journal to be passed down to my kids
Create Picture DVD videos for each child from old picture film canisters and memory cards
Focus on and appreciate all of life's blessings, no matter how small
Fight for the best possible healthcare
Spend quality time with kids and family
Stay up-to-date with research so I can make best educated choices
Help others along health journey by sharing awareness, answering questions, and offering support
Cuddle time with Pets
Consider how I can continue to grow as a person (hobby, books, writing, online class, etc?)
Have courage to live life true to me not others' expectations
Take time to make conscious decisions each day that fulfill my personal needs/roles
Take reasonable risks while accepting and being patient with myself during the consequences
Live life less seriously to enjoy more moments in the moment
Respond to myself the same way that I would treat a friend going through something similar
Undoubtedly, no matter how devoted I am to the above goals, things will not always turn out the way that I expected or wanted. I will never be able to eliminate or avoid all regrets. Bad decisions will sometimes be made as I'm only human. However, when looking back with 20/20 hindsight, I need to remember why I made the decisions I did and remind myself about what my intentions were at the time. Even if I don't like the end results after some of my actions or choices, if they were made with the right intentions in mind I should not burden myself with any regrets.
Living life with chronic illness does not mean life will be full of regrets. Life is what we make of it.