Season of rest for me means physically, emotionally, and mentally trying to enjoy life in the moment, within limitations of course. Pacing myself and listening to my body, which is always challenging with symptoms, fatigue, and physical consequences of the “after effect”. Spending time intentionally recognizing and appreciating blessings around me, no matter how small, while avoiding letting negative experiences get in my mind, replacing distracting worries or concerns for things in the future with what’s important right now.
Self care becomes more of a priority for refueling/refreshing. That’s not to say there will not be bad physical days/symptoms - as undoubtedly they will continue as well as required actions/coping. During this time of rest, I will find reasonable ways to enjoy quality time with my kids, sometimes pushing my limits but minimizing risks in ways that may help reduce too many physical strains without hampering too much of the meaningful experience.
I will continue to work on having more patience, grace and forgiveness within myself through God’s eyes instead of others’ judgements or my perception of what others may/may not be thinking. I will focus on what I can control and allow myself to trust that other things will fall into place with time, God’s plan, and help.
During this time of rest, I will try to find and accept a central calmness, after being in a survival mode so long. I will intentionally focus on improving my connection with God, attend church on days with tolerable symptoms (continue to attend online if my symptoms are too bad) with intentions of eventually connecting with actual individuals on a more personal level.
I am unsure how long I will be in this restful - recharging state. I am not placing any time guidelines, as I believe it will be flexible. I figure that eventually life will either pull me into a more active “growing” state, whether it be due to goals of self-improvement period, helping others/family, illness related issues, symptom control, or hopefully not anytime soon the survival or grief mode. Personally, I understand that these states of mind or modes are “fluid”, they come and go with life and its experiences. I think it’s important that I do recognize them in some fashion though, as it allows me to remember that with the uncertainties and obstacles in life, we don’t have to get “stuck” in one place but can count on more positive times to re-emerge (unfortunately times of sadness/grief/fear etc will as well).
My goal is to appreciate and enjoy the positive days the best I can, continue to find ways to grow and better myself, and when I have to go through the tougher times, continue to lean on my Faith and knowledge that God promises and personal experiences prove better days will find their way back to me.
A proud mother, educator, Gastroparesis & GI Motility Disorder Advocate,
Like my content? Want to thank me with a small token of appreciation? https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LH7R639ORBML?ref_=wl_share
More Blog Entries