GOD is Wonderful! This summer will make 14 years since I became a mother. Being a mother to 2 wonderful children, has been the most amazing blessing. My stepdaughter making her way into our lives, was an unexpected blessing. I love each of them with all of my heart. They were, still are, and will always be the most important part of my life. They keep me going when times are rough. Seeing their faces, witnessing their compassion, and experiencing their love provides me with strength and comfort when I am ready to give up. I am so very honored that GOD chose ME to be THEIR MOTHER. I never doubted my ability to be a great mother. From a very young age, I knew that I wanted 2 or 3 kids. Since becoming a mom, I have always done my best to teach them how to love others, how to appreciate the little things, and how to be there for family. They are not given everything they want, they do not always get their way, and they are not always perfect. And that is fine because they are well taken care of, have a supportive family, have everything they need (and more), and are loved beyond measure. Being a part of this family is not always easy, especially since my illness. The kids have seen me in excruciating pain, over the toilet with relentless nausea, unexpected hospital visits/stays, and too tired to lift my head. Gastroparesis is not well liked by the kids or me. For a while, I fought as hard as I could to be "normal". (Hopefully I can regain my status to the "pretend to me normal" status soon.) After my initial diagnosis and the placing of my feeding tube, I tried to continue being the same type of active mother I had always been: cooking, ball practices/games, backyard practices, vacations, etc. This past summer, there were days when I was not physically able to be an active participant in their lives. I was tied down to my recliner with my heating pad. Some vacations they took without me. Deep sea fishing and theme park hopping were not on the list of things that I could do. I physically became unable to practice sports in the backyard, became unable to drive, unable to attend their practices, and sometimes even had to miss a game. Eventually, I began feeling as if I was not a good mother. I felt guilty for everything that I was unable to do as their mother. With God's help, I have come to the realization that I was so wrong. Gastroparesis and it's symptoms may have changed me as a mother, but it could not and would not define me as a mother. True, I can't do everything as I had before, but I am still a great mother. I love my kids, all 3 of them, unconditionally. I am their number 1 fan and supporter. I am ALWAYS here for them emotionally. I am so very proud of them and all of their accomplishments. God has blessed our family in so many ways. We may not always know why certain things happen, but we accept HIS plan for us.Being sick or physically down, doesn't change that. I admit, motherhood has altered for me. But hasn't it for everyone. My fears and guilt were senseless. I have not become weak, just different. I continue to teach my children how to become strong and independent adults. I continue to teach my children how to love. I continue to teach them what unconditional love between a mother and child looks like. And I continue to teach them about God's love and blessings. Coincidentally, the very things that made me feel guilty as a result of my illness, have actually been new lessons for my kids. They are now being taught that everything in life is not always perfect, and that's alright. Deeper conversations replace the backyard playing and practice sessions. They are learning how a family support system works. They are learning to never give up and how to always keep hope alive. They are learning how to advocate for themselves and others. They are learning that God works in mysterious ways. They are learning that prayers are answered in God's time. Most importantly, I am their mother and will always be their mother. No illness can ever take that away. My kids will always have my heart and unconditional love.
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Trisha BundyA proud mother, educator, Gastroparesis & GI Motility Disorder Advocate, Like my content? Want to thank me with a small token of appreciation? https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1LH7R639ORBML?ref_=wl_share
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