If you know anything about me, you know that I love my kids more than life itself. I am a very proud mother and their largest fan by far! This past weekend, my daughter's Babe Ruth All Stars softball team played in the State Tournament.
As expected in June, the sun was radiating with multiple ball games over a 3 day period. My body screamed against me, but I was determined to attend all of her games regardless of how much nausea, pain, or fatigue I had. Was this a reasonable choice? Probably not. My body reminded me each day, just how much it hated me. Yet, my mind and heart actually felt like I was "LIVING" again and not just sitting at home alive. My muscles are hurting all over, but I was "softball mom!" I FINALLY felt valued and was once again a part of my children's lives, whereas at home I sometimes become become lost.
However, this feat was not perfect. Even though I enjoyed the games, I was very sore, was hurting, and dehydrated. Each morning was more difficult for me to even stand up. Trips back to the car after sitting for a game, became longer and longer. Now today, the day after the games I am still paying the consequences and likely will be the rest of this week. But I'm okay with that, because it was worthwhile.
One day I will get a hold of this gastroparesis! I will find some type of treatment that will help me "LIVE" more often and without harsh physical consequences or limitations. I will find a way to "live" more often, than just being "Alive".